The surreal nature and unfolding horror of 9/11 is unforgettable. But 20 years later, my most enduring memories are small vignettes from that day and the days that followed.

I remember driving my girls to school as I tried to explain what had happened. I reassured them that they would be safe at school and that Daddy would be safe at work, even though I barely understood the situation myself.

I remember my kindergartener asking a few days later if tourists go to jail. It took me a while to figure out that what she really meant was terrorists. Do terrorists go to jail? She didn’t know the word terrorist. So, her 5-year-old brain substituted a word that sounded like terrorist. Tourist.

My most poignant memory was of a Muslim man and his son walking near shops in my neighborhood carrying a white flag. We are not tourists or terrorists they seemed to say. We are your neighbors, and we are not a threat. How was it possible that someone in my community felt they had to carry a white flag of surrender to prevent being attacked?

In the 20 years since that day, our country seems to have become increasingly suspicious of, threatened by, afraid of The Other. The Other could be someone from another country, another religion, another race, even another political viewpoint. The Other might wear a mask or get a vaccination. The Other might have protested for social justice in the streets of America last summer. He might be seeking a new home after fleeing Afghanistan.

Respect for our fellow man seems to have crumbled just like those twin towers. We can’t seem to summon up enough goodwill to love our neighbors as ourselves. We can barely recognize and acknowledge the valuable qualities of people in our own communities. They are a group of people just as diverse as the ones who died when the World Trade Center and Pentagon were attacked and Flight 93 crashed in a Pennsylvania field. Is that the legacy of 9/11?

Fred Rodgers spent a lifetime teaching children about being good neighbors. An ordained minister, Mr. Rodgers’ simple message was “I care about you, no matter who you are and no matter what you can or cannot do.”

So, I leave you with what he thought about valuing The Other.

“I believe that appreciation is a holy thing . . . In appreciating our neighbor, we’re participating in something truly sacred.”

Fred Rodgers

Amen.