Joy and sorrow in the same hand.
It seems counterintuitive that such opposite emotions can occupy the same moment. But I know this is true because of my time on the shores of a Montana lake.
Dozens and friends and family had gathered here to celebrate our nephew’s wedding. The setting was something you’d put on a postcard. Intensely blue, clear, cold water mirrored an equally blue sky. The wooded shores were a mélange of green, the deep green of pines and fir trees, and the leafy shade of aspens.
Joy is what you’d expect here. But this was different, because the groom’s mom has cancer that had taken an unexpected and unwelcome turn recently. So much uncertainty had filled the weeks leading up to this day. Could she attend? How might plans need to be adjusted?
But there she was line dancing and laughing and filled with the immense joy of receiving a much-hoped-for gift: The gift of being present.
Sorrow was pushed aside by celebration.
This mom has learned that the key is to embrace the day or even the moment. Sorrow was within easy reach. But she chose not to cling to it.
Isn’t it true, I thought, that today really is all God gives us? There is no promise of tomorrow even if we pretend that we have endless days ahead.
Our human emotions are a tricky thing. They move swiftly like a river that feeds a lake. But they also can pool up and overflow and get mixed together in surprising ways. Sometimes, we aren’t even entirely certain what we are feeling.
And so it is that hearts can be breaking over what may come but also be full of the joy of the moment.
This reminds me to grieve not the future nor the past but to plant my feet squarely in the moment. That is where joy can be found along with peace and wonder and, yes, sorrow can be there, too.
Like I said, it is complicated.
But what a gift to feel.
SMALL MOMENTS FULL OF GRACE 